Calling out corporate BS? There's a steaming pile to aim for

Summary

Opinion Science is at its best when it makes manifest radical ideas that change our worldview. This is the flag all sane people salute, under which we march to war. Yet in our hearts, we know that the very tastiest science is that which confirms our prejudices and validates what we've known all along. Cornell University has just served up a plate of the finest yet. Tuck in. In an inventive, incisive study into the anthropology of business linguistics, researchers at that institution have proven the old adage, "bullshit baffles brains." Those most impressed by the use of corporate jargon are those least well-equipped for analytical thinking. They ranked nonsensical statements more highly when composed of the finest business bovine byproduct, as ranked on the Corporate Bullshit Receptivity Scale or CBRS. This new learning is doubly delightful, not only confirming what so many of us have noted in our own studies of management and the managed, but also inferring superior analytical awesomeness on those who instinctively loathe the stuff. Jargon is not inherently bad. It has many essential functions, especially in tech with its vast appetite for new inventions and novel reuse of older ideas. There is no crime in using butteriness instead of low latency touch enabled graphical user interface responsiveness. Four syllables beat twenty. The use of jargon can also be a good thing in itself. When geeks first meet, their initial conversation often resembles modem talking to modem, a training and negotiation sequence when the highest level of communication is established. The use of the right jargon is a strong guide to the depth of interest in a knowledge domain, and the right use of the right jargon marks concomitant expertise. Management jargon misappropriates these uses, because the business of business is not technical but desperately wants to be. It is primarily people dealing with people in that wonderful game of encouraging cooperation through status, something that has...